


Three Sheets into the Wind

by awesomecookies



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Ash is a bit pathetic here actually and I'm loving it, Bartenders, Drunkenness, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Identity Reveal, LMAO, M/M, Mutual Pining, Photographer Okumura Eiji, Pining, Pining Ash Lynx, Pining Okumura Eiji, Shorter is exasperated, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, professor Callenreese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:47:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23161954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomecookies/pseuds/awesomecookies
Summary: Shorter was starting to see a schedule here.  Every Friday he deals with Ash's sorry pining ass. Every Saturday, he deals with Eiji's graceful sad pining. Which is....a little funny.Tonight was a Friday so he had to deal with Ash's sorry pining ass.-Or that AU where Shorter is a bartender and two patrons have been pining about their crushes non-stop and it actually both amusing and....a little pathetic. Why won't they just ask them out already!
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung & Okumura Eiji, Lee Yut-Lung & Shorter Wong, Lee Yut-Lung/Sing Soo-Ling, Okumura Eiji & Shorter Wong, Okumura Eiji & Sing Soo-Ling, Sing Soo-Ling & Shorter Wong
Comments: 26
Kudos: 305





	Three Sheets into the Wind

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna pass out for a bit. Stayed up late to finish this.....was meant to be a practice warm up but I got invested lmao

Yut-Lung and Sing had decided to go on a date, and Yut-Lung being the extra rich bitch he was, decided to go on a long ass trip for two and a half months across China for the summer as a couple, doing who knows what after realizing Sing had never been to China being born in America by immigrant parents and all. So Shorter had to man their bar for three whole months. Which was good and all. Shorter could do this. He needed the extra income too. He'd help up in Chang Dai with Nadia in the morning and he'll skip right over at three in the afternoon to twelve midnight. No biggie.

Anyway, it was a little tough and rough having to deal with emotional and drunk people all the time, but hey the pay was actually pretty good. Sing taught him the ways of bartending and all the basic tricks there was to learn plus the ropes on how to manage the bar. Yut-Lung told him what to watch out for and handed him a gun (albeit unloaded) and ordered him to just whip it out at any sign of trouble. 

Apparently working in a bar meant attracting a lot of trouble. Still Yut-Lung literally had no chill. That aside, there wasn't really anything else strange. He did remember having this list of names which as they said 'could come in after hours and crash in the place if they need to' given to him. There's literally just two people in it, but sure whatever it wasn't a big deal. 

One of them was Sing's step brother Lao which Shorter had already met, and the other one he wasn't so sure. But he'll come around it when he sees whoever they are. 

So yeah. Shorter had been maning the bar for a week straight. He's seen fights, some strange make out sessions, broke people from having sex in the cubicles, decked a few assholes who were trying to drug/grope/harass women, deck a couple racist ones (Yut-Lung insisted he did when he saw someone), comfort a few people crying, deck more people who were homophoic (Sing insisted about this one as well), and listen to some bemoan their life to him while making martinis and cocktails.

Speaking of bemoaning and comforting, he was almost sure his friend was on his way to getting wasted with how fast he's downing his beers.

"Bad week?" Shorter chuckled as the beer bottle slammed the counter. It was a Friday night but Ash wasn't usually the type to drink away in the weekend.

"Think I know what purgatory is now. I'm not even religious." His bestfriend, Ash groaned, definitelty more than a little tipsy now. His syllables started to slur into each other. Thankfully it was nearly closing already.

"Care to share?" Shorter chuckled, running a hand through his purple mohawk. There were only two more patrons for tonight and Shorter gets to close. At least the casualty of hearing and seeing shatever drunken confession Ash was going yell was going to be minimized to two.

"He's gorgeous Shorter. Gorgeous." Ash slammed his face on the cool wood of the counter. Ah he was already beyond tipsy then. That would've usually hurt. Still this perked up Shorter's ears. He wasn't able to spend time with Ash lately due to all the sudden work, so this was definitely a new development.

"Who is?" Shorter raised a brow. Tipsy Ash tended to be way more generous with his answers and feelings than sober Ash. 

"Cute barista boy from the coffeeshop." Ash slurred after another drink from his beer. "Barista boy. Why didn't I ever go to the campus cafe all this time?"

So he's pining over a barista. Huh, who would've thought.

"I'm sure you said you hated how it's trendy and by default it had to be cringey and overrated." Shorter started to wipe the glasses. The two other men had paid their bill and left in silence.

"Didn't say that! It's really really good!" Ash nodded his head. Aaaand he's drunk now. "Their pumpkin spice latte was very good." 

Shorter whistled. "Wow. Look at that. It's a popular drink. Ash Lynx never drank trendy shit. Was he really that cute? Or have you finally decided to be the white American boy you were meant to be?" He snickered while he set the last glass to be wiped and went to turn off the other lights.

Ash gave a blubbering mess of an answer. "Well...I panicked and he told me it was popular and I said yes I'll have it and he asked how it was and it was really good!" 

Ha. Ash Lynx you bisexual disaster.

"Are you sure it's the drink that's good? Or the man's ass?" Shorter snorted.

"Shorter!" Ash choked on his beer and it went spilling down his shirt.

"I just cleaned that counter!" Shorter cackled. He hasn't seen Ash this much of a mess ever. This boy must really be something. He went ahead to close the bar.

Ash mumbled as he drained the last of his beer. 

"What was that?" Shorter took the bottle and kept it out of the way. 

"I didn't see his ass....it was behind the counter..." Ash mumbled louder. He had the decency to look embarrassed at least.

"I'm going to be frank with you," Shorter tossed the keys of the bar from one hand to the other while laughing at the lovelorn face of his drunk friend. "You are a disaster."

* * *

Shorter hasn't had any strange or interesting encounters after that. (Unless recounting that one time Shorter had to watch someone drunkenly attempt to sing Christine's part in the Phantom of the Opera. Seriously is this the shit Sing had to deal every night?)

But it was on a Saturday night next week when a man came in the bar despite Shorter already closing. The sound of the door creaking open footsteps shuffling down the stairs towards him, had him hold on the unloaded gun subconsciously. 

"Oh umm...hi? You're...you're not Sing." The softest and gentlest face of a young boy with the kindest voice came in the bar with a confused face. And then his eyes widened. "Ah right. Vacation. With Yue." 

Wait Shorter might know who he was. There was a list right? There was another name. 

"Eiji...Okumura?" Shorter tried. 

The boy lit up. "I'm actually already twenty seven so....I'm very legal to drink. I have an ID to prove it." 

Shorter chuckled. "No no. I believe you besides. Sing and Yut-Lung let's you come in, I'm sure you're fine." If he was twenty seven, he's actually older than Sing and Yut-Lung. 

Still it must've been strange to see a man with purple mohawk and tinted glasses behind the bar, wearing a stiff white collar and a bowtie while his face is littered with piercings. Especially when he was expecting his friend.

Eiji smiled before shuffling to the counter. "Sorry I'll try to make it quick."

"No no. I don't really have any plans and Yut-Lung will kill me if he learned I turned you away. Maybe Sing as well." Shorter picked up the dish rag and continued wiping the glasses. Besides it was a little difficult to say no to this kind looking man. 

Eiji laughed. "Yeah Yue does seem to be the type. Do you mind making me a cocktail? Long Island Iced Tea please."

Shorter grinned. "Sure. I'll warn you though, I'm not as good as Sing."

Eiji waved it off. "Ah that's alright. How did you know them by the way?" 

"He's a childhood friend, well Sing is. I can't imagine being friends with Yut-Lung when he was a kid. I mean I don't want to be a stereotypical "all Chinese know each other" kinda guy", but I kind of know most of the Chinese around the area." Shorter chuckled. "We kinda own a Chinese restaurant so..."

"I have to try it sometime then." Eiji giggled. "Oh sorry I forgot to ask for your name."

"Shorter Wong." He held out his hand.

"Shorter." Eiji tried. "I like it. I'm Eiji."

"I know." 

"Ah yeah but it seems rude not to." Eiji looked sheepish. 

Shorter was seriously starting to like this kid. It was calming to be with him. And he gives off this sense of cheeriness with him, some kind of positive warmth. Where the hell did Sing and Yut-Lung get this boy? They didn't exactly exude.... wholesomeness. It's actually refreshing from all the roughhousing he has to deal with all the time.

"How did you meet them though?" Shorter mourned silently. If only his own friends were this wholesome. They were all rat bastards. Especially Ash. He was the most feral among them all.

"Yut-Lung and I used to go together in college. And then they hired me for their bar. I'm a photographer see." Eiji grinned.

"Nice." He slid the finished drink towards Eiji. "Anyway order up."

"Arigatou." He picked it deftly and sipped on the concoction. "It's not like Sing's, but it's still good." He drank most of it in a gulp. "Another please, but with more alcohol please."

"Rough day?" Shorter plucked the glass from Eiji's fingers. 

"More like...rough weeks." Eiji sighed. He ran a hand through his hair. It was a little long enough to be tied in a short ponytail but also cropped enough to still look fluffy. 

"Right, you can tell big brother Shorter what's wrong." 

"Big brother?" Eiji huffed, looking a little amused. 

"Hey come on. I'm actually twenty seven as well." Shorter snickered. 

"Nah. I'd rather not bother you." Eiji smiled. "My problems aren't really that...interesting."

"You know bartenders also part time as problem listeners? And though it may not look like it, I once majored in psychology in college." Shorter grinned. "Didn't finish it though. So come on, let's get to it. What's it about? Family? Friends? Love?"

Eiji huffed at that.

"Love it is then."

The man laughed. "Yeah it's uhh...this gu-someone at work. He--uhh--she's showing up a lot and I'm a disaster." He rubbed the back of his head, a little embarrassed. "Gets me a bit...dumb and crazy all of the sudden."

Shorter sat in a bar stool and rest his face on his palm. "Naw you can't be that bad. I have a friend. He's definitely worse than you. This cute guy gets him all hot and bothered all the time. The bisexual disaster really." Shorter rolled his eyes at the memory of drunk Ash moaning as he led him back to his apartment. Seriously an esteemed professor like him should probably get his shit together.

Instead of looking amused though, the man simply nodded thoughtfully. "Oh."

Shorter frowned. "Are you one of those people who don't like queer people?" 

"What? No! I'm--" the man spluttered. "Actually I am....the person I like is actually a guy. I just didn't know if you were cool with it." Eiji ran a hand on his face, blushing really hard.

"Huh." Shorter didn't know what to say. "I don't know how to put it to you, but what part of purple mohawk and piercings screams straight to you?" He snorted. "Plus Yut-Lung and Sing is going to kill anyone who think being gay is a crime."

This time Eiji did laugh. "True." And he finished his drink after that. "Well, it was nice meeting you Shorter. I'm glad we could talk. It's....refreshing from Yue's nagging." He tossed a few bills on the counter.

"Man you're way controlled than all the people I've seen in this bar." Shorter picked up the bills.

"Helps that my friend owns a bar. Anyway, I gotta go. I have an early morning tomorrow. Sorry for taking some of your time." Eiji bowed.

"Nah it's all good. You're a fresh of breath air too. It was nice meeting you and I'm more than willing to listen to your love life." Shorter grinned.

"Because you're a psychology major once?" Eiji shot with a tease.

Shorter laughed. "Nah, cause I'm starting to enjoy talking to you. Have a good night!" 

* * *

Shorter was starting to see a schedule here. Every Friday he deals with Ash's sorry pining ass. Every Saturday, he deals with Eiji's graceful sad pining. Which is....a little funny. 

Tonight was a Friday so he had to deal with Ash's sorry pining ass.

"Shorter! Shorteeerr!!!" Ash whispered drunkenly. He was starting to worry for his best friend's liver....and wallet. Honestly he hasn't drank himself to kingdom come since that one time he failed calculus once. "It's so unfair! He's literally so cute, too much I tripped while walking and broke a plate! It was so embarrassing! And then he had to clean it up and he bent down and--"

Shorter snorted. Seriously it was a little pathetic but also ultra amusing. He pinched his nose. He had the right to find his friend exasperating and amusing at the same time. 

Ash rested his cheek on the counter. "He has a really nice ass Shorter. It looks plush and soft." 

So it seemed they've moved on from talking about his dark eyes to the way he's cute when he's laughing to his fantasizing about his ass then. At this point Shorter wondered if Ash had already jerked off to the thought of Barista boy.

"I have nothing against that! I'm a weak man!"

Ah he definitely did then.

"Jeez Ash, just ask him out. If you're that in love. At least if he turns you down you can get over him right?" Shorter had to endure listening to Ash rambling about 'oh Shorter, our fingers brushed!' and 'Shorter! He called me cute today! Or well, he said my shirt looked cute but that's the same thing right?' and then that one infamous 'Shorter! Shorter! So this is going to be awkward right? But I kinda accidentally spilled my drink at him and in panic I started wiping at him frantically but then I realized I've don't really have a towel? And that I've been feeling him up the entire time...on the pants....on his crotch.'

Oh Shorter lost it at that. He's not gonna lie. This poor poor disaster. He's a little sorry for this Barista boy having to deal with Ash and his dumb ass. He wasn't usually like this. Honestly though he was the most calm and collected in his friends, capable of ending someone with his sharp words and quick wits paired with his amazing intelligence. But this Ash? Well...

"I can't ask him out. He's too...." Ash made a strange gesture and an even garbled noise at the back of his throat. 

Shorter sighed. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

".... he's too beautiful." Eiji whispered over a glass of Mojito. Eiji sure seemed to like his cocktails. "It's lacking white rum by the way, I'm sorry." 

"Ah your workmate hottie?" Shorter teased while making taking in Eiji's suggestion on his new drink. Eiji getting tipsy was a bit adorable. Actually the way he pined was adorable. Unlike Shorter's Friday client.

"He's not exactly my workmate hottie he's just...he just comes and goes." Eiji murmured sullenly while taking the new glass. 

"Is he a model?" Shorter wiped the counters. "I assume he is...I mean you talk about how beautiful he is as if he's you know...a model."

Eiji laughed. His laugh was cute. Shorter had this strange instinct where he wants to protect this man. Like some kind of brother he never had. He was too... precious. Shorter wanted to squish his cheeks.

"No he's not a model.But I'd love to have him model for me." Eiji laughed, a little conscious. 

"So ask him. Maybe ask his number while you're at it." Shorter grinned.

"Yeah...no. He probably doesn't know I'm a photographer." Eiji curled towards himself. "And I don't think he likes me that way."

Shorter wondered why. Was it because Eiji looked too young? Did he look like an assistant instead?

"You can still ask his number." Shorter pointed out. 

Eiji's face crumpled. "I don't think he's gay either. He said he had a girlfriend before." 

Oh. 

Eiji was close to crying.

"Hey that's okay." Shorter panicked. He didn't know how to how to comfort crying people. Especially men. He wasn't used to men crying. Except Ash. There was really nothing he could do with his drunken crying. "Hey. No don't cry. Shit I'm sorry I don't know how to help. What do you need?"

"I'm okay. I'm okay." Eiji wiped his face. "I just...I'll get over him....at some point."

Shorter decided to pour himself a glass of rum. "Hey it's okay." 

Eiji smiled at him. "Yeah. Cheers?" 

Shorter smiled and clinked his glass to him. Damn straight people, breaking their hearts like this. Whoever this man was, Shorter already disliked him.

* * *

"Shorter Wong, I am so gay!"

At this point, the regular patrons already knew about this pathetic wailing man who gets wasted every Friday, pining over his crush. Shorter was sure he was spending a month's worth of rent. Not to mention all the coffee and cake he's eating every morning. Come to think of it, how was he still in perfect figure? All that calories he's taking in.

"Wow. No hello Shorter? How are you Shorter? Are you alright Shorter? No? Nothing? Alright then." He rolled his eyes with amusement. It had been a busy night so he wasnt able to talk until it started to calm down.

Ash sighed. "I'm so gay."

Shorter snickered. "You're bisexual, Ash. Now, what happened?" Yut-Lung and Sing would be amazed. Business had boomed since they left. All thanks to Ash's fat wallet and his pining. And his unhealthy coping mechanisms.

"I think....I think he thinks I'm straight. Have I not been obviously queer enough? Or is his gaydar broken?" Ash stared at his bottle with this mournful look like the drama queen his drunk self always was.

"How do you know he isn't straight?" Shorter deadpanned.

"Pffttt. Please. Let me tell you. He is 100% gay. Nobody like that isn't gay. I swear!" Ash slurred. Damn. Shorter wished Eiji was this confident with his love life. He suddenly remembered his Saturday appointment. 

"Uh huh. And what makes you think he thinks you're straight?" 

"I kinda told him about my ex? Which I panicked and realized you shouldn't really say that when you're trying to woo someone. But he kinda just walked out after that? I mean he smiled politely and walked away, saying it's midterms and his part timers are studying so he's low on staff...but fuck."

Ash groaned. He was probably the sole reason why they're running low on beer, Shorter thought. Speaking of, he should restock them before the week ends.

"Probably not a good idea." Shorter leaned on the counter. That's just funny. His Saturday appointment thought his crush was straight, while Ash's crush thought he's straight. Damn these two should meet up and pine together. They'll be very good friends at this rate.

"You should fix that right?" Shorter sighed. 

"Yeah..." Ash mumbled. "Yeah....yeah...I--I should, shouldn't I?" He looked frazzled as he ran a hand through his blond locks. "Maybe I'll do that right now! I should go--"

"Woah there lover boy!" Shorter held him back. "Not when you're wasted like that! And how are you gonna find him? It's not like you know where he lives!"

Ash sniffled. "Lives..above...his shop." Ah damn. He's crying now. 

"Alright now, that's enough for you. Just go tell him next week about how gay you are. And while you're at it, go and tell him how gay you are for him." This was getting a little pathetic. Well, you know, drunk Ash was already pathetic. It was the only time he becomes pathetic. That and faced with his Barista boy. 

Ash continued sniffling. 

Damn.

* * *

"Okay he's...not straight." Eiji pointed out. "He's bisexual.

"Congrats! You have a chance!" Shorter made him a Moscow mule this time. He slid the drink on the counter. 

"I guess so, if he's even interested in me." He took the drink gratefully and sipped it with contemplation. "This is...actually alright." 

"Thanks." Shorter grinned. "Anyway, he told you?"

Eiji's face crumpled. Shorter knew that expression. He's so acquainted with that expression when they talk about his beautiful crush. 

"He didn't tell." Shorter deadpanned. 

"No uhh..." He scratched the back of his nape. "Actually it was really weird. I may have said that I noticed his eyelashes were blond as well. And then he said, 'yeah, down there too. Wanna see?' and I said yes! Like an idiot!" His face was burning red.

Shorter tried his best not to cackle, but he failed. Eiji wasn't usually this flustered and he was usually so composed. Eiji shot him a drink eye while he sipped more of his Moscow mule.

"Sorry. Sorry. Yeah continue." Shorter waved, not exactly apologetic. Grumbling Eiji also looked adorable. 

Eiji huffed, but otherwise continued. "So he turned red and got all silent. And I apologized because he knows I'm gay and he might've gotten uncomfortable with it since...you know he's straight. But then! He said he's actually Bi? And it got even more awkward after that so I made up some excuse to walk away." He groaned and buried his face on his hand.

"Man you're all disasters." Shorter snickered. "But at least you know he's not straight right? That means you have a chance?"

Eiji gave a slight depressive smile. Man they gotta work on this guy's self-esteem. Shorter would fight anyone for him. And surely his crush must feel the same? Otherwise he wouldn't just come and go in his studio if he wasn't as interested or into him. Especially since he wasn't a model according to Eiji.

"Sorry, I'm actually a depressed drunk." The man had the gall to apologize. Shorter could not believe him.

"Hey, better than my friend. He comes here every week too to pine about his crush. Some Barista boy. He's actually a pathetic drunk, too gay to function he says. You're way better than him." Shorter winced at the memory of having to haul Ash to his apartment every single week while he cries over how beautiful Barista boy's ass is and his dark dark eyes. 

Well a different pair of dark eyes were blinking at him with amusement. "Wow. I feel bad for having to add up to that."

"Oh no. I like talking to you. Way better than him. Everything is calmer." 

Eiji giggled. 

Shorter smiled.

* * *

The next time Ash walked into the bar, he wordlessly slid into his usual barstool, took a long gulp from his bottle and stared at the wall for the next hour.

"So you told him?" Shorter raised a brow. "Or you chickened out?" Ash didn't respond. "Come on man, say something."

Ash looked at him and made a garbled sound at the back of his throat, blushing hard. Then he gestured mildly at something then went back to garbling nonsense.

"Alright. I'll leave you to it then."

* * *

"He's very sweet." Eiji confessed as Shroter started to wipe the tables. "It's so unfair how he can be so composed and unaffected when I'm dying in the inside!" 

Shorter nodded while he did his routine in closing down. "Don't mind me and just continue. You're kinda early."

But he supposed Eiji didn't need him to say that. He went on his way and made his own screwdriver. Damn he's actually way better at this bartending gig than him. 

"He's been staying late and we actually get to talk while I close down. He asks about my interests and he has a really soft spot for cats! I want to cry." Eiji sighed and stared at the screwdriver contemplatively and the vodka bottle, and then decided to down the entire bottle instead. Oh god what a mood. 

"That's actually a good thing right?" Shorter laughed nervously. He hasn't seen Eiji this erratic with his alcohol. 

"He's a nerd, but I like it. He can talk about biochemistry and lipids and whatever research he's doing and I'd still wanna listen to him! Goddamn blond hair and jade eyes and unfairly beautiful face!" Eiji downed another swig from the bottle. 

Wow. Okay. 

"Why don't you just ask him out?" Shorter bit his lip. 

Eiji looked at him with this wild expression in his eyes. "I can't!"

Shorter rolled his eyes. "Of course you can. At this point I think he's so into you." 

"I pathologically can't. I get too flustered when I'm with him! I banter too much with him at this point and I...I don't know." Eiji trailed away. "Maybe I'll just learn biochemistry. That way I'll have something to talk about him without tripping over myself."

Shorter seriously wanted to help him. If only he could see them so he could actually help him. Damn.

Wait. Biochemistry?

"You know that's funny, my friend teaches biochemistry. He's a professor actually." Shorter mused.

Eiji gave a sad laugh. "Maybe he could teach me so I could impress my crush."

"Maybe." Shorter huffed. Ash probably wouldn't mind. In fact, Shorter thought they might even be good friends. He's always thought from day one.

"Hey Shorter...." Eiji smiled at him.

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind if you give me a ride home? I think I'm gonna pass out for drinking an entire bottle of vodka straight." He chuckled sheepishly.

"Alright, just don't pass out before you tell me your address though." Shorter laughed. 

"I live above a cafe. By the campus. It's my cafe...I own it. My studio is upstairs too." Eiji gave this stupid wide grin. 

Huh. That's actually....weird. It sounded a little familiar. Wasn't Ash's crush living above a cafe too? Nah that must be a coincidence. It had to be. Thankfully Nadia let him borrow her car today, otherwise it'll be a problem. 

"Alright. Let me finish closing and I'll take you." 

Eiji giggled. "Good because I'm gonna pass out. Right about....now." 

And he fell with a really loud thud. 

Damn. 

* * *

"Shorter! Shorter, if I buy an expensive camera, do you think I can pass off as someone interested in photography?!" 

Ash was talking in his usual drunken fervor. The old regular by the booth shot them the usual weary look at every Friday night since Ash started to come here. 

Shorter raised a brow while he tried making a Bloody Mary for one patron. "I don't think you need to buy an expensive camera to look interested in photography. Anyway why are you planning to buy a camera?"

"Barista boy! He's a photographer! I want to impress him with it! Last week we've been talking about interests and shit, and I found out he's into photography yesterday!" Ash had this shine in his jade eyes. Wait. Photographer? Barista boy was a photographer?

Eiji was a photographer. And he owned a cafe by Ash's university. That can't be a coincidence at this point right? The universe rarely missed the mark like that right? 

"Oh my god Shorter! I think I'm in love with him!" Ash wailed. Why can't he be like Eiji who actually knows when to stop to not get drunk? Sans last Saturday of course. That was the first time he dropped. 

"That might be the beer talking." Shorter deadpanned. 

"No." Ash whispered. "No. I think I do...or at least I'm getting there." He suddenly seemed to sober up when he said this. "He's..he gets so sad sometimes? Like really sad? I think you know that. You went to psyc-psychotholgy-psychology." He slurred. 

"You mean he gets depressed?" Shorter filled in.

"Yes!" Ash snapped. "He got sad one time, so sad and he told me it happens sometimes....and and Shorter, I don't want him to be sad! Ever! Shorter if this isn't love, what is it?! I've never felt like this!" Ash started to cry. Who knew he could be such a sad drunk? But Shorter also appreciated how Ash could be honest with his feelings like this. He just wished he didn't do it while getting drunk all the time.

"There there." Shorter patted Ash's shoulder. "Tell you what, maybe I know someone who's good at photography. We can meet him next week and he'll teach you how to woo your crush." He had a hunch, a big hunch that's been nagging at the back of his skull since last Saturday and he wanted it to confirm it so badly. 

"You do?" Ash had this hopeful shine in his eyes. "You'll do that for me?" Ah drunk Ash was so different from his usual grouchy and sarcastic self. He never videoed any of his sad ramblings over his crush on fear sober Ash might kill him. Hungover Ash was a bitch to deal with too. Just a little worse than early morning Ash.

"Yeah. Now come on. Sober up." Shorter encouraged. Hopefully Eiji would agree to see them on a Friday.

* * *

"Thank you." Eiji sipped the drink. "You're doing better. It's as good as Sing's." He sipped from his Martini. He sure does love his cocktails.

"Thanks." Shorter closed early and sat comfortably next to Eiji on the barstool. "They're about to comeback though so I'm gonna be out of here soon."

"Aw. I'll miss my Saturday sessions with you." Eiji mused. "Well, I miss Yue and Sing as well, but they don't take my pining so well...especially Yue." 

"We can stay friends. Wanna swap numbers?" Shorter offered. 

"Sure!" Eiji's eyes sparked as he slid his phone towards Shorter. He clapped his hands together and bowed. "Please do. Ah if only asking for cute guys' numbers were this easy, I wouldn't have this problem."

"My friend would share the same sentiment." Shorter placed his number into Eiji's phone while sliding his own towards him. "Oh yeah, by any chance, do you know someone named Ash?" Shorter inquired.

Eiji blinked. "No? Who is that? Isn't that your friend?"

That can't be. He was so sure about it too. Surely? Surely? 

Shorter waved his hand. "Nevermind. He works in the university where your cafe is. I just thought you might know him. Anyway, never thought you'd barista as well." Shorter set the glass to Eiji. 

Eiji stared at his drink. "It's something I thought to do on the side. Yue helped me start up and well, it's doing great. I'm about to open an exhibit and while that's going on, I have this." Eiji smiled. "I didn't expect it to be so fun though."

"Are there a lot of cute guys giving you numbers?" Shorter wagged his brows.

"Nah." Eiji snorted. "Hardly. Besides I'm actually busy most of the time."

"Busy pining for your workmate hottie?" Shorter teased.

"I'm a photographer too!" Eiji pouted with pink creeping in his cheeks. "And being a barista isn't actually easy."

"Yeah yeah I know. I work at a restaurant and as a bartender remember?" Shorter chuckled. It's now or never. "Hey, remember my friend Ash? His barista crush is a photographer too. Do you mind teaching him about photography? So he could impress his crush and maybe put everyone in this bar out of their misery from his drunken pining? He can help you learn some biochemistry for your crush."

If his suspicion was wrong, at least they learn from each other and they end up friends. And this time they can pine together, giving Shorter a short reprieve. He doubts it's wrong though. He trusted his gut was often right. 

"Woah. I'm rooting for him. Alright I'll do it." Eiji seemed amused with the thought. 

"Great! Meet me here Friday next week?"

* * *

"Why are we meeting him closing time? And you didn't let me get drunk." Ash grumbled at the counter as Shorter finally cleaned up the bar. Ash was holding his first beer of the night, a little bit into the way to slightly tipsy but still far off to his limit.

It was Friday night, Shorter's last Friday night before Sing and Yut-Lung arrived this Sunday. He hoped he was right. 

"I need you to be sober when this happens. I can't have you scaring him. Plus you'll thank me. I swear." Shorter reassured himself mostly.

"Alright. If you say so." Ash chugged half of his beer.

Some minutes passed before Eiji finally arrived. Until it was finally time.

There was the familiar creaking of the door, the thudding footsteps to the bar and an even more familiar smile from none other than Eiji in his green jacket and red shirt. It was great that he was wearing tight pants tonight too. Shorter was going to have to take a video of this, Ash's murderous glare be damned.

"Hey Shorter! I'm a little late, sorry about that. I hope you didn't wait up too long." 

Ash choked on his beer as he whipped towards the sound of the voice, Eiji's smiling face directly at him. The smile turned into surprise. Shorter didn't even mind that he spilled the drink all over the counter which he just wiped clean. 

"Holy shit." Ash coughed with disbelief. His face was absolutely red. "Holy shit, Shorter Wong this better not be a prank or I will kill you."

Eiji on the other hand stood like a deer in headlights. "A-Aslan? Umm...Professor Callenreese? Is that you?"

Ah. That must be it. Ash actually introduced himself with his real name. Shorter internally squealed. He was right. He was fucking right! Who was the best matchmaker? He was! Take that Cupid!

"You're....you're the one crushing on a photographer? You're Shorter's friend? The one who he said cries every week?" Eiji inquired tentatively. "And your crush is a barista? That's...that's..."

"I--" But Ash seems to have forgotten how to talk because all he's done was switch staring at Eiji and at Shorter. Shorter was sure his line of thought jumped between 'holy shit', 'what the fuck?', 'what the fuck did you mention to him?', and more 'holy shits'.

Shorter was filming the whole thing with his phone, trying his best not to laugh, or groan.

"...Do you...I mean..." Eiji was trailing away in a stutter. "I....wonder who the lucky guy or girl is?" But even that was unsure.

Shorter tried his best to hold back a facepalm. They really were idiots.

"It's you!" Ash blurted out while he covered his face. Shorter cheered. Yes! Just like that! "Eiji Okumura I like you. A lot." He rushed. "I've been coming here for a month now just to pine. I like you enough to spend on cake and coffee everyday then spend on getting drunk in the weekend." He was panicking. "I like you so much that I think Shorter's ears might already fall off with how often I talk about you. I like you enough to want to stay by your side despite you feeling sad and actually want to take care of you through it. I like you enough to let my bestfriend tease me for this, for confessing in front of him." 

Ash took a deep breath while he peeked through his fingers.

"Aslan... I've been coming here to talk about you too. A lot actually." Eiji confessed after that long pause between them. "I--...do you really like me?" 

Ash nodded fervently. "More than anything."

Eiji laughed. "And you really did tell Shorter you were too gay to function?"

Ash groaned. "Yes. Yes I said that."

"And all that time I thought you were so composed." 

"Not at all. I'm sure I was this close to getting alcohol poisoning once because you sneezed and you looked so cute." Ash sighed. 

Eiji giggled. Ash lowered the hand covering his face to peek at Eiji. 

"Aslan. I really like you too. Being a nerd and all." Eiji confessed. Ash's face lit up like the sunrise. 

"You do?"

"Yes. I think I spent too many days here talking about you instead of just asking you out." Eiji laughed. "Go out with me?"

Ash turned even red if that was possible. "Holy shit, yes!" He huffed. "Though, let's not go to a bar please." Ash laughed as well. "I think my liver is going to kill me after all that pining."

"Okay but...." Eiji walked over to the counter and stared at Ash. "I think I want to kiss you. Please let me kiss you?"

Ash's face was too dazed. "Please. I wanted that for so long." 

Eiji smiled as he rested his palm on Ash cheek and pulled him into a kiss. A chaste peck on the lips. 

"Alright! You guys finally got yourselves together! Congratulations!" Shorter cackled as they broke away. They seriously forgot he still existed next to them to witness all that pussy footing. The two broke away from each other. "Oh man, I have so much tea to spill about how much both of you pined for each other and how everything would've just been solved if you just grew the balls to ask each other out." Shorter wheezed.

"You have so much explaining to do Shorter Wong." Ash grumbled. 

"I agree." Eiji nodded. "But first," He took Ash's hand and gave him a large grin. "How do you feel about spending the night with me?"

* * *

"That's a lot of....beer sales." Sing peered over the report Shorter did over the inventory from when they were on vacation. "This is double the usual sales."

"Someone has a bad taste." Yut-Lung griped. "A cocktail would've been more tasteful."

Sing blinked. "There's a lot of that too. Huh, who knew?"

Shorter laughed, thinking about those two idiots who finally got together. "Well, you know when people are three sheets into the wind, sometimes we tend to get something great out if it."

**Author's Note:**

> Three sheets to the wind means getting drunk just sonyall know. It came from sailor lingo. Will prob edit this thing I just need to sleep


End file.
